How To (Effectively) Not Get The Short End Of The Gear Head Stick...

"J. Drew Silvers" (drewcoustic) 02/13/2014 at 10:15 • Filed to: Car Repair

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When people find out you're "handy" with cars, a perpetual flood gate tends to open the moment they are caught in the middle of some sort of mechanically motivated crisis. Actually, I have personally figured out that being a gear-head also somehow means you are well versed in the functioning structures of things such as (but not limited to): hot water heaters, HVAC systems, and home plumbing. Why? Yeah, I have no idea, but these are generally the least of a gear-head's worries concerning those who call upon such services which tend to be more assumed than actually available.

Don't get me wrong in any of this, I love working on cars and most of the time will go out of my way to help people who are stranded somewhere and out of their element or will volunteer my experience to those I care about because I tend to give quite a few more shits than not. The issue I continually ran into had to do with the type of people who either hinted they would like some help with their vehicle, or those of the opposite sex who pushed themselves to be a little flirty so I would help them out. Not shockingly, when a few friends and I built a 24 Hours Of LeMons car in my garage one summer, word traveled around about our quest and the more grubby people with car issues came out of woodwork like I'd never seen before; chasing me down like a skulk of wild foxes.

"He built a race car in his garage. He loves that stuff. He'll help you. Here is his number."

As I said before, I really do like helping people who actually could benefit from my experience, but after a few people dumping their cars off with me to fix them or spending some hours wrenching in their driveway alone while they did whatever else it was they had going on, I said "enough is enough" and devised a way to throw the perpetual torque-spec on my situation. So to speak.

My big "ah ha" epiphany moment hit me when I was helping my friend swap an alternator on her car in the parking lot of her condo in Atlanta. This simple process required one trip to the parts store and two separate tool runs (you always forget to bring at least one tool). Even though she did get mildly frustrated here and there, she stuck by me the entire time, asked questions, and even helped when I needed her to re-route the serpentine belt. My friend loves cars, but isn't really into the hands-on aspect so much. Regardless, her attention and desire to learn anything new is one of many things I respect so much about her. Unlike the others whom I had helped over the years, she never left my side from the moment I popped the hood until she slid the belt over the idler pulley at the end of the job. A few years prior, I had installed an amp and subs in the same car, and it was the same story. About a year after the alternator swap, I changed the rear brakes for her and guess what? She kept me company the entire time and asked questions. This was when I started thinking about how I could still be a helpful car guy without being screwed over in the process:

Make it very clear I will only help them if they are willing to learn and share the experience; or else take it to a shop. This is simple and not asking too much in my opinion.

Honestly, I even do this to my own mother, which you can read about !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! if you're looking for a laugh.

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Everything said and considered, I am not one who goes into situations of helping others expecting any sort of accolade in most cases, but I have figured out that when it comes to "helping" people with their car issues, getting walked on is pretty damn easy. According to others in my circle, it is also very common.

Why?

The fact of the matter is that you may go into the task without an expectation, but more readily than not, the person you have set out to help has an expectation of you to just do the job while they carry on with practically anything else.

One-sided compromises are never a good idea.

I'll be honest and say I have lived in my neighborhood for a little over five years now and know only one other household out of the many surrounding me. I don't know why, but that is just how it has always been. However, when the first round of snow hit here three weeks ago, my Thunderbird slid off the road for a reason outside of my control about a half mile from my house.

I walked home and went back to my car a little later, only to find some of the neighbors I had never met pushing other cars out of the same ditch. After jumping in to help push out the five other cars which had accumulated in the same relative area as my own, those same neighbors helped push mine out. I spent the next few hours with my new acquaintances, pushing the cars of complete strangers up an icy hill about a block from where we first started our little endeavor.

After about three hours and aiding around two dozen cars, it was a guy named Mike and myself who remained on the scene, talking about cars. When all of the vehicles were cleared and after a few conversations, Mike said to me "You know, there is a difference between being a mechanic and a 'parts changer'. I'm a parts changer, but I wish I understood more about cars like you." He is a few years younger than me, and genuinely interested, so I am going to have him over to my house this spring so I can pass along a little of my self-educated car knowledge - because he indirectly asked and wants to learn. I like the idea.

That is sort of what I see as the duty of being a gear-head. We're not just around to change out some parts while the person we are helping takes advantage of the situation. If we do a favor for someone, I don't see it out of line to ask the person for whom we do the favor to pay attention to what we're doing. I see hobbies as something we should be passionate about enough to want to share and get other people involved in them. If nothing else, keeping company the person who is fixing your car is the least that could be done, right? And you never know, a few turns of the wrench could be all it takes to get their internal synchro-mesh all lined up, effectively creating the next generation of car guy/car girl.

Think it over.

Grace and Peace,

Drew

Brian Silvestro > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:21

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FP all this articles.

505Turbeaux > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:27

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all of this is too true in my life. I need to live in the middle of nowhere with no car, no toys, no tools and maybe I will have some rest. Also good writing yet again. shared to OPPO facebook

J. Drew Silvers > 505Turbeaux 02/13/2014 at 10:29

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Thank you! Much appreciated.

J. Drew Silvers > Brian Silvestro 02/13/2014 at 10:30

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Thanks for the compliment. :)

Brian Silvestro > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:30

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You're we'llcomes

Bad Idea Hat > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:43

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I'm a computer guy, so I can relate. Every year, for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, my uncle drags me away from kith and kin to fix whatever the hell is wrong with his computer now.

Worse, though, is that my mom had a nasty habit of telling anyone that I'm more than willing to fix peoples' computer problems for free. Apparently it's because I'll fix her computer for free.

I tried to put a stop to it at one point, but my mom dropped the entire "ungrateful son" bullshit on me. So I stopped answering phone numbers that weren't in my phone's contacts list. That worked.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:44

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Great read,

I once had a coworker ask me if I could change a clutch on his Toyota corolla because "the Toyota garage wants too much money and I know you like working on cars". I was dumbfounded, here is a guy who is an acquaintance at best wanting me to change his clutch for free because I'm "a car guy". He even had the audacity to act offended when I told him no. Some people...

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Bad Idea Hat 02/13/2014 at 10:48

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Ah yes, the joys of being an IT professional...

BKRM3 > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:52

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I agree with the sentiment here.

Also, is that a CHEVY BERETTA TRACK CAR?!?

J. Drew Silvers > Bad Idea Hat 02/13/2014 at 10:55

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Ouch. Funny how doing a favor turns into some sort of obligation a little father down the pipe.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 10:55

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I purposely make time to read J Drew Silvers' articles.

Amazing read and very well put together. Not many can marry form and function so well.
Your style and content remind me a lot of Tim Suddard and Dave Wallens from Grassroots Motorsports. Well done!

J. Drew Silvers > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 02/13/2014 at 11:01

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Haha. I had someone ask me to diagnose her friend's car recently. She said "I think it's the transmission." I told her I wouldn't go near it. I don't think people understand how much work is involved in dropping a tranny. I've done it on my own cars numerous times and am swapping my Mustang from a C4 to Toploader right now, but I'm not doing anything that laborious intensives on some else's daily driver. Haha. I understand your pain.

And thanks for the compliment. :)

CobraJoe > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 11:04

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That's a great strategy. Getting people to learn about what you're doing and get them to understand the depth of the work required to do it is always a plus.

Personally, I have the opposite problem. All of my friends know I like to work on cars, but none of them ask for my help. I tell them that I charge the cost of parts plus a 6 pack of good beer, and I've only gotten one person to take me up on it. I'd rather donate a bit of elbow grease than have my friends driving around in something that should be fixed but they can't afford.

J. Drew Silvers > BKRM3 02/13/2014 at 11:06

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Yeeeeeah...When we went through tech with it, Murilee Martin was supposed to help look it over for cheats and I believe his words were "It's a Beretta. Send it through. It won't finish anyway." He was right.

J. Drew Silvers > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 02/13/2014 at 11:07

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That is very much appreciated! Thanks for such a wonderful compliment.

J. Drew Silvers > CobraJoe 02/13/2014 at 11:11

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Now I'm not sure which is a worse problem to have. Yikes.

BJ > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 11:21

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Very well written, Drew.

I think your approach as an enthusiast is excellent - you're asking people to show that they respect the knowledge, effort, and time you're providing by participating in the activity themselves. They get to learn something new, and you get to share something of personal interest to you.

The other option is to ask for fair pay (cash or barter) in exchange for your time. I've already fixed someone's modem connection problems in exchange for a supper and a case of beer - one of the best-paid jobs I've ever done! Those who simply cannot or will not participate must be willing to compensate you appropriately. This will weed out a lot of folks looking for a free ride, but it won't give you the same kind of satisfaction.

BKRM3 > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 11:32

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Damn! But I can't say I'm shocked. My first car was a Beretta (guess I've come a long way since then...) and while it was reasonably good to me on the street, I wouldn't have dreamed of tracking it. I had that thing for 4ish years from 1999 to early 2003 and I'm pretty sure it died right after I sold it. It had the 3.1L engine which I seem to remember wasn't terrible. The gearbox, on the other hand, was the absolute most pitiful thing on the planet. I'm pretty sure it was a 3 speed automatic. 0-60? Eventually. Just god awful.

A3R0 > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 11:34

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I was reading this whole article thinking "Wow, what a great read!". Then I got to the bottom and saw your signiture and thought "Oh, now it makes sense, it was written by Drew". Thanks again for another great read!
Also, on one of your other articles I said something about how I enjoyed reading your articles and got something like 7 star clicks, so people on here definitely all think the same thing.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 12:20

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I'm just happy I'm part of a community where I can enjoy them.

No, thank YOU not me.

J. Drew Silvers > A3R0 02/13/2014 at 12:28

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That made me smile so much. Thank you.

Big Bubba Ray > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 12:57

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I hate situations like this.

Friend: "Hey Big Bubba, can you replace the serpentine belt in my car while I sit inside, watch a movie and drink smoothies?"

Big Bubba Ray: "Absolutely not. You can help me with the car. Better yet, you can change the belt while I instruct you and make sure nothing goes wrong."

Friend: "Shit. Ok."

If someone needs help with their car, I'm glad to lend my tools, supervise the repair and show them how to do it themselves.

J. Drew Silvers > SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman 02/13/2014 at 15:58

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Well, I'm happy you enjoy and promote my stuff, sir. :)

TwoFortified > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 19:21

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Nice article. Thankfully, I haven't been wrangled into the "fix this for me please" situations much (yet). However...

My sister-in-law bought My grandfather's Nissan Z31. The car was already in great shape, and, since maintenance wasn't really an issue, she asked if I could help her install a subwoofer and amp, and wire it all up.

The funny thing about this request is that I had never done it before . In fact, I had never even really seen a setup up close. I was, however, vaguely aware of the process (amp to fuse to battery. Sub and speakers to amp), so, somewhat begrudgingly, I agreed to help her out on a Saturday last summer (I remember because it was damned hot that day).

Frankly, without thinking about it, I never really gave her an opportunity to run off, and she didn't really try to. By the end, she was stripping door panels while I was in the trunk wiring the sub to the amp. She was running the big-gauge wire through the car while I was crimping a battery-terminal-connector to it.

All in all, I think it took us about 2 hours to get the thing wired up (with one unresolved confusion related to how to wire the subs to the amp. She took it to a friend that actually had experience doing these things, and he wrapped up the job in about 5 minutes). The system ended up working great, and she learned a lot about her car, and car work in general...

...and then the amp/sub got stolen about 2 weeks later.

J. Drew Silvers > TwoFortified 02/13/2014 at 19:25

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That's a good story. Well, unfortunate for her, but entertaining. My first amp install was at the age of fifteen and a mess. It worked well, but looked awful. Now I'm pretty particular about my installs. Thanks for the compliment!

TwoFortified > J. Drew Silvers 02/13/2014 at 19:35

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(And not to toot my own horn; plenty of the things I do end up looking horrible, but) I was pleasantly surprised that, once we were all done, it actually looked really good. Maybe it was because it wasn't my car, but I heavily emphasized taking the time to tuck all of the wires and whatnot properly.

Poor girl had half of the interior of that thing taken apart to run the Amp power line.

Thisnewformatisrubbish > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 02/15/2014 at 16:47

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I get that a lot too. They expect me, in dress slacks and tie, to go fix a leaky master cylinder on my lunch break.

mazdaspeed2 > J. Drew Silvers 02/15/2014 at 16:55

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Great write up! I would absolutely love to learn more about working on cars, and I wish I could find someone like you around me to learn from. If I didn't need my car to be working most of the time I would definitely be out taking things apart and putting them back together whenever I could. I've tried convincing my parents to let me get an old beater to take apart but they wouldn't go for it. Any advice for a novice without much experience to start?

mazdaspeed2 > mazdaspeed2 02/15/2014 at 17:03

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Side note, I just looked through your most recent write ups because I liked this one. I quickly realized I had read all of them already and I liked them all haha. I will definitely keep an eye out for all your new articles.

J. Drew Silvers > mazdaspeed2 02/15/2014 at 21:03

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Sure! Start with stuff that bolts-on and bolts-off, which may sound silly, but a pretty good amount of time in a modern, cramped engine bay, you will have to remove or disconnect a few things just to get to the part you are trying to replace. Grab the owner's manual and learn everything you can about the maintenance parts (bulbs, fluids, wipers, filters, etc.) and know how to check and replace all of them - meaning, go out and take out bulbs so you know how to remove them, take off your wiper blades and put them back on.

As for hard parts, start with saving for an air intake and then READ EVERYTHING you can about each part that connects to it, the sensors that hook to it and what they do (they're different on every car, but do pretty much the same thing). So that by the time you're ready to install it, you have all of the mental knowledge. Start at the intake and gradually move deeper into the engine, because everything starts at the intake and ends at the exhaust. You won't learn it all in a day or even a year, but the more familiar you are with your car, the more likely you'll be to want to take a shot at fixing it yourself when something does go wrong or you want to upgrade a part.

Online write-ups are your friend, so cruise the forums that are based on your car and just pick a random write-up, read every word, look at the pictures and ask questions. This will always help you be aware of common issues you car may have as well as how to remedy it or catch it early. This works the same way for performance write-ups.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes as you go along, but calculate your risks before you step into working on your car. Like I said, READ all you can and never make assumptions that you know how to do something if you don't read every step of someone else's tutorial. Shop manuals you can buy at the parts store are fine to keep in the trunk, just in case, but the real-world enthusiasts who do write-ups online have always served me much better because they speak to you like a normal person and use standard terminology.

Ask me anything else, I'm happy to give my $.02 for what it's worth.

Also, thank you for reading my articles. I really do appreciate that!

mazdaspeed2 > J. Drew Silvers 02/15/2014 at 21:22

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Well, looks like I am off to a good start because I do a ton of reading especially on the forums just trying to pick up a few things as I go. When I first got my car, I was as optimistic as I was clueless and I had planned on doing intake, exhaust, etc. but I quickly realized it wasn't worth it for my car (damn rust), I didn't have the money, and most importantly I didn't have the tools or the know how. Unfortunately I will most likely be parting ways with my car soon, but it will be for something newer and much less rusty which is always nice. Hopefully I will be able to start doing things like that with the new car. I've already been reading a lot on it and looking up parts for it and how to install them. I just want to get my hands dirty already!

samssun > Bad Idea Hat 02/15/2014 at 23:09

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For cars, computers, stereos, and anything else that falls into the don't-need-an-expert-just-basic-knowledge arena, a good rule to have is that you'll advise and guide, but the person you're helping has to actually do it.

Maybe make exceptions when it's a two person job, or say you're helping a girl who physically can't break a bolt free, but in general they should be the ones manning the tools or keyboard, because then they have to pay attention and understand, and hopefully will be learning to fish in the process.

samssun > Big Bubba Ray 02/15/2014 at 23:15

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Bingo! You advise, but they turn the wrench (or click the mouse, or connect the Bose). At the very least they're aware of the work involved, since they're doing it, and hopefully they learn something for the future and become motivated to learn more.

Also prevents you from being the nerd doing some girl's homework while she plans a date with a guy who knows not to be her doormat...

J. Drew Silvers > mazdaspeed2 02/16/2014 at 01:58

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Good deal. When you start picking up tools, don't go the Wal-Mart route. Buy something decent right off the bat as far as sockets sets/ratchets. The Kobalt brand from Lowes is great for hand tools and much cheaper than Craftsman usually. They're made at the same factory also. You can find really good deals after Christmas.

Keep reading. You're doing eveything right. Education is half the battle - unless you like breaking stuff and doing the same job twice until you figure out the proper way (don't do that).

Fuel_of_Satan > J. Drew Silvers 02/16/2014 at 08:48

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It is immensely gratifying to teach someone a new skill, just seeing the new ideas pop into their head is fantastic. I never thought about making it a requirement to make people learn if you're going to fix it for them, but I like the idea! People do tend to ask around anyway so its not a bad idea!

First thing I did with a friend was to overhaul a brake caliper the good old fashioned way for his 75 Trans Am. He already loved giving things a go though, but he's an accountant by education. Pop out the piston, a bit of honing, new seals and it was good to go. Actually still working brilliantly 10 years later, and he's moved on to restoring the T/A and acquiring quite a few other collectibles as well.

A job well done I think!

Daniel Fleck > mazdaspeed2 02/16/2014 at 08:49

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Start with changing your own oil. It's a regular maintenance item, but it's a gateway drug. It's simple, it's cheap, but it gets you dirty and start noticing things about your car and under the hood. Once you do that, maybe you'll want to flush your coolant, bleed your brakes, replace brake pads, replace spark plugs, and on it goes.

Daniel Fleck > Bad Idea Hat 02/16/2014 at 08:52

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I'm a computer guy, a car guy, and really all around an engineer. People come to me for all kinds of stuff. Depending on how close friends we are, I'll do it for them in exchange for food/beer, offer to give them assistance, offer to give them advice, or if I really don't know them, point them to Google.

J. Drew Silvers > Fuel_of_Satan 02/16/2014 at 10:44

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Half the reward is sharing knowledge and the other half is seeing the fruits of the efforts pay off. Someone calling to say "Can you help me fix something?" is much better then having someone call to say "Would you come over and fix something for me?".

I'm happy you enjoyed it!

GirchyGirchy > mazdaspeed2 02/16/2014 at 11:30

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I do all of my repairs at home on our four cars and a previous motorcycle. Here's my advice:

1) Download the Service Manuals for your car. They have proper diagnostic procedures for trouble codes which can be quite specific to each car. They're very, very handy.

2) Obtain and use proper tools. Don't try to half ass stuff, you're likely to get frustrated and injured. Craftsman stuff is still a decent deal. Don't overspend on an OBDII scanner, but try to at least spring for one which can display some live data.

3) Read books, magazines, websites. Watch videos (Eric the Car Guy on YouTube is great!). Educate yourself.

4) Others may disagree, but...don't ask people for help. In person or online. Try to figure it out yourself before latching onto someone and holding their hand. You'll learn so much more. Most issues or maintenance procedures have been explained in much detail before, so you're probably going to ask what's already been asked several times before anyway.

5) Don't be afraid to tackle a repair, but don't get a false sense of security. Know your limits if you have them, because you can kill yourself or someone else. But if you dig in for a repair and tear it up and have to take it in, hey, at least you tried!

GirchyGirchy > mazdaspeed2 02/16/2014 at 11:33

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And BTW...if you get a beater at some point, get a truck. They're typically easy to work on and there are numerous parts out there. Plus they're handy, so when it's running, you can haul crap. Try to find one that's not horribly rusty though, or it'll lead to MUCH frustration.

J. Drew Silvers > GirchyGirchy 02/16/2014 at 11:42

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I think I'm on board with everything but the FSM part. I shadowed a master tech for three years, have owned over a dozen vehicles, have taken only one to a shop, done all of my own repairs/mods and never wanted one or needed one. They're also pretty expensive and piracy from the "free" pdfs online isn't something I condone. The terminology in them is probably too much for someone just starting out since I don't see him needing to know internal tolerances or the routing of oil/coolant passages for the time being. Agree to disagree, but a FSM is an easy way to overwhelm a beginner.

GirchyGirchy > J. Drew Silvers 02/16/2014 at 14:45

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When it comes to certain things - torque values, disassembly/assembly steps, wiring diagrams, electrical connector disconnect instructions, and DTC diagnostic procedures - they're irreplaceable, IMO.

They're not necessarily pricey. Some Asian manufacturers allow a 24-hour subscription service where you can grab 'em. Even at full retail they save money in the long run.

mazdaspeed2 > GirchyGirchy 02/16/2014 at 16:08

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Thanks! If I could afford to possibly mess something up I wouldn't ask, but I unfortunately can not afford to do that with my current car.

Ultrakill > mazdaspeed2 02/17/2014 at 11:23

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I think one of the hardest things is working on your 1 vehicle. If you are living alone, and only have 1 vehicle, getting stuck mid repair because you need to run to the store for a tool or a part can be one of the worst situations, usually it means putting everything back together and driving to the store only to do everything again at home.

If you plan to do work on your DD, make sure you only do small jobs, because you don't want to be stranded tomorrow when you get halfway through a job and a tool/part snapped or broke or whatever.

After I got my motorcycle I started to become a better mechanic as I could leave my car and not have to rush a job that I didn't finish. Also made running to store for parts or tools easier. After a year or two of doing your own work you will accumulate better knowledge and more tools so those runs will be less frequent.

GirchyGirchy > Ultrakill 02/17/2014 at 13:30

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You're right...having an extra vehicle makes everything so much easier.

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > J. Drew Silvers 03/04/2014 at 11:32

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I love that body kit!